Shopping Day
by gothgrrl13
Summary: Wichita noticed a store near by where they were. She smirked, an idea coming to her. She looked back at the two. “Hey, who wants to go shopping?” She asked." Tallahassee/fem!Columbus, gender-bending


Title: Shopping Day

Tallahassee sometimes wondered about his luck. Well, he should be consider lucky that he was still alive and not a mindless zombie mutherfucker, but then again, he was the only survivor that was surrounded by _women._ You think that sounds like a good deal, but it really wasn't.

First, there were the sisters. Wichita and Little Rock always have each others' backs and were a sneaky bunch. Wichita was a little bitch that was tough to the blood and bones and mean as hell. Little Rock was kind of a brat; a smart-mouth, know-it-all brat. She was as tough as her older sister but probably more sneakier than her. The two together reminded Tallahassee of a couple of banshees.

Then, there was Columbus. Columbus, Tallahassee had to think about. The girl was...alright. She was pretty skittish about certain things and always nervous. She's a skinny little thing, with short curly hair that was slowly growing. She was always nibbling on the strings of her hoodie, usually when she's upset or nervous about something. She has this small soft voice that would rise in volume if she was angry with someone(usually Tallahassee) or embarrassed about something. Other than that, Columbus was pretty okay.

It was Wichita and Little Rock that got on Tallahassee's nerves sometimes. He understood Ohio used to be this shut-in that was afraid of leaving her room and rather be on the computer doing whatever teenagers do on the computer. According to Columbus, she used to play a lot of online video games. Anyway, being prone to that, Columbus didn't know much about social stuff. So, sometimes Wichita would lightly tease her about certain things like that.

("You never went to second base with a guy?"

"Oh my God, no! I would freak out or something!"

"Oh, you big baby. Still a virgin and you'll probably die one since the only guy alive for you to fuck is Florida."

"W-Wichita! Oh my God, don't say t-things like that!")

Little Rock sometimes took advantaged of Columbus and got away with making Columbus do whatever she wanted. It angered Tallahassee that Columbus that was naïve, but Columbus stated that she always wanted a sibling of her own when she was younger.

Tallahassee felt like he always had to keep a look out for Ohio. It was amazing enough the poor girl was able to survive on her own before Tallahassee found her on the road, pulling her suitcase. She was always more skittish and twitchy around him though. Poor girl was not social around people, but mostly around him sometimes.

Another thing Tallahassee considered unlucky about being around females was the things they talked about. Very girly, girly things. Stuff about hair, jewelry, or clothes. It was mostly Wichita and Little Rock talking about those kind of stuff. Tallahassee kept his mouth shut tight while driving, trying not to crash into something to make those banshees shut up. Ohio was playing with the strings of her hoodie, not really partaking in the girly conversation.

"What about you, Columbus?" Little Rock suddenly asked.

"H-Huh?" Columbus softly said, looking back at her.

"I said, what about you? I told Wichita long skirts are better, but she says short skirts are. So, what do you think?" Little Rock asked.

"Oh, um...I-I don't like skirts. Jeans are okay with me." Columbus softly answered, smiling nervously.

"Didn't you used to go shopping back before this place went to hell?" Wichita asked.

"Um, not really? I mean, I did went out to buy more food to eat or more laundry detergent when my clothes got really dirty. Or get more paper plates."

"So, you never went to a mall, go into a clothing store and try on clothes for fun?" Little Rock asked.

"...N-No? I mean, I did used to go to the mall, but only to check if the latest video game was out..."

"You're such a geek," Wichita giggled, making Tallahassee frown, "But you totally need to be a girl every once in a while, Ohio."

"What do you mean? I am a girl! I like girly things too! Like...I like cute things and I like to buy those hair clip things sometimes. And I like stuffed animals!"

"What are you, five?" Little Rock asked sarcastically.

Columbus looked away, lightly blushing. Tallahassee had enough and glared at the banshees in back through his rear-view mirror. "Now you both lay off the little spit-fuck."

Columbus blushed more at the unfortunate nickname Tallahassee gave her. She always felt her heart flutter a little whenever Tallahassee stuck up for her or when he used that nickname for her. Being around this guy always made her more nervous then before, worrying if she was going to look like a total fool in front of this great example of what a man should really be. Not that she would tell Tallahassee that. It would boost that guy's self-esteem even more then before.

She heard the sisters in the back seat scoffing and probably rolling their eyes at Tallahassee. Columbus was always awkward about making friends with anyone. Other girls always seem to be so mean to her and other boys would never give her a second glance. Although they were the only ones left in Zombieland, Columbus considered them a family. Wichita was the sister she always admired, Little Rock was the younger sibling she always wanted and Tallahassee was probably the hot dad from next door she would totally have a crush on. Not that she would admit that to anyone in the group. _Ever._

They pulled up to a town and stopped by a supermarket. As always, Tallahassee wanted to check if they had Twinkies and also they were low on food supplies. So, they all went inside the market, gripping on to their guns. Wichita checked one aisle while Little Rock checked another. Columbus was following Tallahassee, nervously chewing on one of the strings of her hoodie.

So, of course there were a couple of zombies in the supermarket. Of course Tallahassee had to be a total show-boat and blast the mutherfuckers' heads off in every way possible. Of course Wichita had to make a snide comment about Tallahassee showing off. Of course Little Rock thought that was cool and wanted Tallahassee to teach her that. And, of course Columbus thought Tallahassee was being too dangerous but was blushing about how brave he is.

So, as the crazy hick was raiding the store for Twinkies, the girls went to see which of the canned goods were still edible to eat. As Little Rock and Columbus checked random Chef Boyardee cans, Wichita noticed a store near by where they were. She smirked, an idea coming to her. She looked back at the two.

"Hey, who wants to go shopping?" She asked.

* * *

"Tell me why we're in here again?" Tallahassee asked, clearly unhappy.

"Because we want some new clothes." Wichita answered.

"And maybe some new shoes." Little Rock added.

"This place is fuckin' huge. Those fuckers could be hidin' anywhere in here." Tallahassee growled, glaring.

"That's why we have a big, strong man to protect us." Wichita said mockingly and smirked at Florida.

Little Rock giggled and followed her sister where the dresses were. Tallahassee gripped on to his gun tightly, fighting down the urge to bash Wichita's head in. They were in some kind of department store, or maybe a bargain store. Tallahassee didn't really pay attention what kind of store it was or even the name of it. All he knew was, he had Wichita and Little Rock dragging him here after he couldn't find any Twinkies.

Columbus didn't seem too thrill about being in here too. Perhaps because of what Tallahassee said about zombies hiding anywhere here. She nervously chewed on the string of her hoodie, looking around. She knew she wasn't really "girly". Even when she was little, she hated when her mother forced those ridiculous dresses on her. When she got older, she didn't see the point of dressing up because she knew no one paid attention to her. The idea of her with make-up, high heels, and those skimpy dresses made her feel all nervous and she sucked the fabric of her string.

"Ohio, c'mon! We're gonna check out the shirts!" Little Rock called out.

Columbus looked at Tallahassee, not really wanting to leave him alone or trying on clothes. Tallahassee looked down at her, frowning deeply. Columbus blushed and scurry away to the other girls. Little Rock smiled at her as she grabbed her hand and took her down to where the girly clothes are.

Tallahassee huffed, annoyed. He figured he'll just walk around and make sure there weren't any zombies around. Of course that didn't stop him pushing over random mannequins as he did. He grumbled about females and their stupid need for clothing.

Meanwhile, Wichita and Little Rock were grabbing whatever they liked and made their way to the dressing room. Columbus sat outside, waiting for them. She was still nervously chewing on that string, holding on to her gun. Wichita stepped out, pretending to be a model as she walked around as if she was on the catwalk. She was sporting a very flirtatious black dress with high heeled boots. She made funny-looking faces, making Columbus lighten up a little and giggle.

Little Rock stepped out, wearing something familiar to what Hanna Montana would wear. She pretended she had a guitar and wailed on it. Columbus laughed and Little Rock joined in the laughter. She went back to change again and so did Wichita.

Columbus watched as the two sisters basically gave her a little fashion show. Columbus smiled and actually pointed what outfits looked cute. This was a little unlike her. She could care less if that top looked cute with that bottom. Was this what it was like to have girlfriends?

"Columbus, you should try something on!" Wichita encouraged.

"Oh, n-no. I'm fine, really." Columbus nervously said.

"Don't be a baby! Just try on a shirt or something!" Little Rock said.

"W-Well, I guess...But I don't know what to put on." Columbus softly said, nervously playing with the string of her hoodie.

"We'll help you, duh." Wichita said, smirking.

Columbus nervously smiled at the two and followed them back to vast fields of colorful clothing. They laughed and giggled as they picked out random outfits for Columbus to wear. Enjoying the little things was on Columbus's list of rules. She felt like she really was enjoying herself. For a moment, she forgot all about zombies and surviving, and focused on having fun with her friends.

Tallahassee, on the other hand, was bored out of his mind. So far, no zombies and he probably knocked out every mannequin in the store. He could hear the giggling of the girls from where he was. What was so funny about trying on a stupid shirt or pants? He decided he had enough and it was time to tell the girls it was time to go.

He made his way to where he could hear the goddamn giggles and was about to yell at them to get their shit together, when he heard Wichita ask Columbus something.

"So, how long have you been crushing on Florida?"

Tallahassee stopped in his tracks and made himself hidden. He heard Ohio nervously squeak and her voice coming from the inside of the dressing room.

"I-I don't have a-a _crush _on Tallahassee!"

"Oh please. It's so obvious." Wichita said, rolling her eyes.

"So obvious. I knew when we first met you two." Little Rock added.

"...Is it really that obvious?" Columbus nervously asked.

"Well, yeah. But don't worry, I bet Florida doesn't get it yet. All that dumb hick thinks about is shooting zombies and Twinkies." Wichita said.

Tallahassee glared, holding in a growl. Fuckin' bitch was what he thought of Wichita. Little Rock giggled at her sister's comment and as much as Tallahassee liked the kid sometimes, he thought bad thoughts about her too.

"Hey, don't call him that. He's not dumb all the time..."

Tallahassee smiled a bit when he heard that. Good kid. Ohio was always a good kid. Wait, all the time?

"I mean, I know he can be reckless and sometimes careless. A-And he's kinda loud and scary at times. But he's actually very nice and you know he cares about us. And I bet he can be a gentleman when he wants to be. M-Maybe not like a _real _gentleman, more like his version of what a gentleman should be. Besides, he's brave and he watches out for us. Plus, I think he looks very h-handsome when he takes off his hat. ...I can't zip the back of this thing."

Tallahassee took that all in and looked back up at his hat. He didn't really know Columbus felt that deeply about him. He felt a little flattered and he silently chuckled to himself. Well, he had to admit, the skinny spit-fuck was cute at times. When she was following him or when she chews on those strings of her hoodie. Or even when she was blowing the fuckin' zombies' brainless heads off. He rubbed his stubble a bit, thinking. Didn't she say she liked stuffed animals? He remember seeing some around here. Being quiet, Tallahassee walked away.

"Come on! I wanna see how you look, Columbus!" Little Rock said excitedly.

Wichita stepped out after helping Columbus zip up and so did Columbus. She bit her bottom lip nervously, playing with the hem of the dress. She shuffled her feet awkwardly. "What do you think?"

"You look cute!" Little Rock said.

"R-Really?"

"Yeah, you pull off that dress, Columbus. You do look cute." Wichita said, smirking.

"Y-You think so?"

The sisters nodded, smiling. Columbus smiled herself, blushing more. She did feel pretty. She did a twirl for the girls, giggling. Her smile faded away though, when she saw something that pulled her back into reality.

"Oh...shit."

The sound of a groaning zombie was heard and the girls quickly gathered their weapons. Wichita cocked her gun and aimed for the head. Shooting it between it's eyes, the zombie fell and Wichita carefully came up to it to shoot it again. Another zombie was heard though and then another. It seem Tallahassee was right, and those fuckers were hiding somewhere in the store.

"C'mon, let's move!" Wichita said and they ran.

The zombies followed with full speed, screeching and black bile coming out of their mouths. Columbus would shoot at some to try to knock some of them off. Little Rock did the same, helping Columbus.

"Florida, where the hell are you?!" Wichita called out, also shooting the zombies.

No answer came and the zombies were gaining up. Thinking fast, Wichita turned a corner. She looked back at Little Rock and Columbus.

"Split up!" She said and she went one way.

Little Rock nodded and went another way. Columbus watched the two running away, frantically. "No! Buddy system! Buddy system!"

She heard a zombie coming her way and she had no time to remind the girls of the rules. She bolted, shooting at the zombie. She looked around, hoping to see Tallahassee, but he was nowhere in sight. Without paying attention on where she was going, Columbus tripped and she fell on the ground hard. Her gun slid away from her and she hissed in pain, feeling her ankle was hurting.

The zombie was getting close and Columbus tried to get up but gasped in pain again because of her ankle. This wasn't good. Not at all. She tried to crawl to her gun, but it was way too out of her reach. The zombie screeched and Columbus let out a scream, closing her eyes.

She heard a loud thunk sound and she opened her eyes. Standing above her was good ole' Tallahassee, griping on to a mannequin arm. His hat was off, hanging behind him, the string basically being used like a necklace. Tallahassee smirked, pulled out his gun and shot the zombie's head twice. He looked over at Columbus, still smirking.

Columbus blushed, lightly panting. Tallahassee dropped the mannequin arm and held his hand out for Columbus. She grabbed it and Tallahassee helped her up. She winced, hissing in pain again. Tallahassee frowned at that.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I-I think I hurt my ankle. S-Stupid s-shoes." Columbus said, wincing again when she tried to put her foot down.

Tallahassee grumbled, picked her up with one arm and went to get Columbus's gun to use with his other gun. Columbus was blushing bright red, holding on to Tallahassee tightly.

"W-Won't I slow you down?!" She asked nervously.

"Nah, just adds more fun for me, spit-fuck." Tallahassee answered, grinning at her.

Without arguing anymore, Tallahassee went on a zombie hunt, holding Columbus while doing so. He could hear gunshots going off and figured the banshee sisters needed his help. He caught Wichita fighting off two zombies by herself. He smirked, seeing that the bitch was in need of some help. He cocked Columbus's gun and shot one of the zombies, making it's head explode. Wichita was able to shoot down the other one and she came up to Tallahassee, panting and glaring at him.

"Where the hell were you?!" She demanded.

"I was busy lookin' at shirts. Ain't that why we came in here?" Tallahassee joked.

Wichita glared again and looked at Columbus and Tallahassee. She lift a brow, her hand on her hip. Columbus blushed, shyly looking away.

"Um, I hurt my a-ankle." She explained softly.

"Right...Look, we gotta find Little Rock." Wichita said and marched off.

Tallahassee rolled his eyes and followed. The brat could be anywhere in this stupid store. They heard gunshots going off and followed that sound. They saw Little Rock shooting at the zombies, throwing down random shoe boxes to trip the zombies over. Tallahassee laughed at the sight and sharply whistled.

The zombies turned to the sound and started charging at him. Columbus held on tightly to Florida, shaking a bit. She thought she heard Tallahassee shushing her quietly, as if to calm her down. Tallahassee cocked the gun and aimed, smirking.

"Give me a smile, you fuckers." He said and started shooting every one of the zombies. Each getting hit squared in the face.

Those zombies fell to the ground, covering pumps, boots and high-heels in oozing black bile. Little Rock ran up to the group, hugging her sister tightly. Wichita checked to make sure Little Rock wasn't hurt. She looked back at Columbus and Tallahassee.

"We're gonna go get our stuff and let's get the fuck out of here." She said.

"Good plan." Columbus said.

Wichita and Little Rock left, and Columbus was alone with Tallahassee. She blushed again, looking at the big man. Tallahassee looked back at her and she felt her face redden more.

"Ya think you can walk now?" He asked.

"O-Oh. I think so." She answered softly.

Tallahassee gently put her down and Columbus tested out her leg. Her ankle felt like it was throbbing a bit, but it didn't hurt as much anymore. She fixed herself, dusting herself off. Tallahassee suddenly realized that Columbus was wearing a light-brown dress with a flower pattern on the hem of it. The dress reminded him of those doll dresses, the collar exposing her neck. She was wearing brown shoes with the dress, and noticed the kitty clips on her hair.

"You look nice." He said.

Columbus looked up, blushing. "I-I do?"

"Yeah, ya do." He said, smirking at her.

Columbus shyly smiled and nervously played with the hem of the dress. "Thank you." She said softly.

Aw damn, the spit-fuck was being cute. Too cute. He smacked his forehead, remembering something. "Wait right here." He said and dashed away.

Columbus blinked owlishly, confused. Tallahassee came back and yelled out, "Catch!"

He threw something at her and Columbus opened her arms, catching it. She looked at it and saw that it was a teddy bear. She lightly blushed, looking at it. Tallahassee walked back, rubbing his stubble.

"You said you like those kind of shit, right?" He said.

"Yeah, I did. T-Thank you." Columbus said, looking at the bear with a small smile.

Tallahassee came up to her and lifted his hand to lightly touch Columbus's chin. He made the girl look up at him. Columbus stared at Tallahassee's eyes, blushing. He looked so ruggedly handsome, with his hat off and his beautiful blue eyes. She stared at his lips and without knowing, licked her own. Tallahassee made some kind of growling noise and Columbus thought she did something wrong.

She tried to look away, but those blue eyes wouldn't leave her own brown eyes. Tallahassee leaned in close and Columbus thought her heart stopped. His lips was close to her own and Columbus prayed in her head she wouldn't mess this up. To her surprise, Tallahassee's lips felt soft on her own. She had her eyes closed as she kissed the Floridan hick. Tallahassee was being slow, and Columbus could feel her heart swoon.

She gasped in surprised when she felt Tallahassee pull her closer to him and blushed deeply when she felt his tongue. She tried her best to copy his moves as they kissed. She never had a French kiss before; in fact she never even kissed before. She moaned in the kiss and Tallahassee moaned back, feeling like he was growling.

Columbus gently broke the kiss, lightly panting. Tallahassee looked at her flushed face and freshly-kissed lips. Columbus looked up at him, still blushing. They suddenly heard someone clearing their throat and they turned to see Wichita and Little Rock staring at them, Wichita smirking. Columbus looked away shyly, hugging the bear to her chest.

"Can you two make-out later? We gotta bail." Little Rock said, her hands on her hips.

Columbus nodded, probably blushing so hard, her ears were turning red. Wichita felt like laughing but she was happy for her shy friend. She knew Columbus was drooling over the Twinkie-loving hick for a long time and it was about time she did something about it. Although she could not see what was attractive about Florida, she would and will put a bullet in his head if he broke sweet Ohio's heart.

"No worries Ohio," Wichita said, "I got your stuff too. Let's get out of here. I think we had enough shopping for one day."

"Y-Yeah." Columbus said softly.

Tallahassee was glaring at the banshees, totally pissed that they interrupted them. But when he glanced at the spit-fuck hugging that bear, he felt his anger melt away. Well, some of this anger. Ohio was just too cute for her own good sometimes.

They walked out of the store one by one. Columbus looked over at Tallahassee, smiling as she held the teddy bear. Tallahassee smirked at her, making her blush.

"C'mon, honey pie." He said to her.

Columbus shyly blushed at the sudden new nickname and followed Tallahassee back to the car. She climbed back into the car, closing the door. She wondered if she should dress up more often now.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **LOL. This was totally unrelated to my other ZLand fic, but I got this idea when I was in the shower the other day. Yes, I'm the type of people that get ideas while taking a shower. 8D; I'm surprised no one did a gender-bended fic for this pairing. So, I'm the first one! Woo-hoo! I hope I kept everyone IC. ;w;

R/R please!


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